10 Weapons to Avoid during a Zombie Outbreak

  1. Flame Thrower - The zombies will just catch fire, but won't actually stop coming after you until their brains melt/blow up.  Also, burnt zombie flesh smells terrible.
  2. Revolver Pistol - Limited ammo, long reload time, and little stopping power.
  3. Morning Star - Could get stuck in a zombie, rendering it useless.
  4. Chainsaw - These things run on gas.  Your luck runs out as the gas does.
  5. Ninja Stars - You'd have to be able to hit them in the head, and even if you do, it may not breach the skull.  Sorry, but the ones you got in Chinatown will do you little good.
  6. Grenades - Grenades are lethal because of the shrapnel rips apart the flesh of people within close proximity of the explosion.  This would only work if the shrapnel gets stuck in the zombie brain.
  7. Silver Bullets and Wooden Stakes - Zombies are not warewolves nor vampires.
  8. Pepper Spray - Studies are inconclusive as to whether zombies rely on sight and smell to track their targets, which limits how effective pepper spray would be.
  9. Lawnmowers - Contrary to popular belief, these things are quite heavy and lifting one to shred zombies to pieces would prove to be quite cumbersome.
  10. Bare Fists - Avoid punching or bitch-slapping zombies if at all avoidable.  Doing so may open up wounds on your hands and may result in infection.

3 comments:

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

[double post.]

no.9 - revolvers is wrong

you definitely want a revolver in your arsenal. more specifically, one chambered in .357 magnum, and i'll tell you why in a minute.

yes it is true that revolvers require longer to reload. however one must consider the advantages. 1) revolvers almost NEVER jam. their simple operation will never fail you when you pull the trigger. 2) reloading magazines into your semi-auto handgun is nice and fast sure, but what happens when you run out of magazines? reloading a revolver does not require you to load up your magazines preemptively, you can simply load up on the fly. 3) revolvers chambered in .357 magnum have a distinct advantage that is not commonly known. revolvers chambered for .357 magnum also accept .38 Special and .38LC ammunition (they are all roughly the same diameter, and thus can be fired as .38Sp and .38LC are shorter cartridges than .357mag). having such flexibility in ammo consumption makes scavenging for ammo much easier (.38Sp and .357mag are 2 of the most common revolver cartridges.) 4) stopping power is determined by the caliber of the ammo you are using. example, a .357 magnum revolver has more than 2x the stopping power of a 9mm semi-automatic handgun.

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